In honor of Britney Spears tragically uninterested comeback, I would like to reclaim my pinpoint place in the blogosphere. From her 2007 VMA performance, I feel inspired to return from my hiding place in the real world and to venture back here, into your cold, insensitive virtual arms.
Here are the 5 things I learned tonight from Britney Spears about making a triumphant return to the spotlight:
1. It doesn't matter if I'm fat, lazy or just don't care. Sometimes, I'm all three and it's nothing a good fake tan can't fix.
2. As long as I pay them, hot dudes will totally still dance with me.
3. My underwear doesn't need to fit, my ass cheeks look damn good jiggling below my panties.
4. Fuck it.
5. Mmm...Cheetos. Gimme more.
Thanks Britney, I couldn't have done it without you.
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1 comment:
Seriously, WHAT was with that outfit? I'd never call that girl fat, even if she's not back at her prime bulimia weight we're used to. So why pick an outfit that would make you look soooo unappealing? And so trashy, when we've all seen your vajayjay already? Where is her stylist??
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